Me and Romance

So, I need to get all of this out on the table for myself and anyone who needs to understand.

As of August 20th, 2008, I made a commitment to cease and desist for one year all romantic pursuit and active relationship; otherwise known as dating. This was inspired by Preston's message at Seven on the 19th.. the day before. He spoke of sacrifice, and how sometimes the desires of our hearts sometimes require it. Now, here, you will learn something about me that I consider to be, from my perspective, a pivotal point of why I exist in this world. I want more than anything in the entire world, more than a billion dollars, more than world peace, all of it. This desire weighs heavily on my heart--a calling, if you will. I obviously want to fulfill it, and sometimes took matters of looking into my own hands. I figure God will teach me some things if I take some time off from the scene.

Here's where it gets frustrating. Sometimes this little idea of mine comes up in conversation and when I tell them of the sacrifice and desire involved... and then the sudden, prolonged absence of it. They say to me "Well you'll be fine, just enjoy your time being single." I get a bit upset whenever people tell me this, because it defeats the entire purpose of this whole thing. First, they speak of being single a time to enjoy.. a time outside of the life-long relationship that I search for. Frankly, if you are not committed to something, you are going down a dangerous road. Temptation strikes easily on those who's path is aimless. The way I see it, is that anyone you see or hear that says "Single and loving it" either has their mind on the right things, the relationship to come, or they're fooling around with who knows who.

In addition, the time with God has brought me back to the origin of my romantic tendencies. I feel young again, in a sense, back to the days when that love was simple, straightforward and innocent. It's as if that this time is not devoted to being single at all! I feel more like I am getting in touch with my partner as she relates to me. I suppose you could say the same for me and my relationship with God. I have fallen so in love and have been filled with so much joy. However, I don't credit this to "singleness" but that I am in a Holy relationship, allowing God to shape me to fit with my missing piece.

As per my personality, enjoying single time is a bit of a stupid thing. I feel most satisfied when someone takes satisfaction in drawing from me, and when the same is true the other way around. Being single opens the door to temptation which is not something that I enjoy dealing with. The only thing that has changed for these next 11 months is I am throwing these tendencies to the wind, offering up my "lover's mind" as a sacrifice. My only aim is to abide in God's will, and arrive closer to a milestone than I was when I started.