Don't take this too Seriously now.

I am an emotional wisp in a world full of lovers. I am the chill in your spine when romance unfold before us. I am each of your hairs, standing on end at the sight of someone special. I am the intangible burden on the hearts of a thousand unrequited admirers. I am a tap on the shoulder of a bashful young man, leaning against the wall at a Sadie Hawkins dance. I am 2, 1, 0, -1, and so on...whatever is <3. I am an earnest kiss on the cheek and a thank you, even though the dinner he made tasted terrible. I am a letter, smelling sweet on pink pastel stationery, bringing answers to a weary soul. I am the millions of dried up tears that invisibly stain the carpet of funeral homes everywhere. I am a feeling, an emotion, a chemical response. I am Love as you all see it. I am Romance, and it's ok that you like me.

But I am sacrifice, death and resurrection for your sake. I am The One. True. Original. Love. Christ.

Train Of Thought: Oh It is Love

• I think I'm going to attempt to be poetic for the remainder of my consciousness tonight.
• Hmm... I wonder what I could do in order to stay productive and stay up even longer? :) that'd be grand.
• I just remembered the "creepiness" formula for appropriate dating ages. I think I'll write a program to perform the calculations. Brb.
• Done! Let me know if you want a copy :P
• Ok, so after further testing... I had to add some additional conditions. For example. If you are 5 years old, you can't date a -4 yearold...or date at all, really. Plus, the formula was designed for legal people anyway.
• I wonder is it better to focus thought on someone to remain devoted to a cause or if it's better to ignore everyone and have the cause burn at you.
• I should really REALLY stop thinking about who she could be, and start thinking about who she is.
• Started this blog at 3:45. It's 4:27 now. I wonder how much longer I can last?
• I still have dust in my mouth from the project 114 prayer gathering. Boy was that fun.
• I should get these allergy eyes looked at. Irritation every time I come home is kinda annoying.
• I hope I can maybe get some work done before church tomorrow. I have a paper to research for and physics to do!
• With this I will depart: I will never cease to love.
  

Me and Romance

So, I need to get all of this out on the table for myself and anyone who needs to understand.

As of August 20th, 2008, I made a commitment to cease and desist for one year all romantic pursuit and active relationship; otherwise known as dating. This was inspired by Preston's message at Seven on the 19th.. the day before. He spoke of sacrifice, and how sometimes the desires of our hearts sometimes require it. Now, here, you will learn something about me that I consider to be, from my perspective, a pivotal point of why I exist in this world. I want more than anything in the entire world, more than a billion dollars, more than world peace, all of it. This desire weighs heavily on my heart--a calling, if you will. I obviously want to fulfill it, and sometimes took matters of looking into my own hands. I figure God will teach me some things if I take some time off from the scene.

Here's where it gets frustrating. Sometimes this little idea of mine comes up in conversation and when I tell them of the sacrifice and desire involved... and then the sudden, prolonged absence of it. They say to me "Well you'll be fine, just enjoy your time being single." I get a bit upset whenever people tell me this, because it defeats the entire purpose of this whole thing. First, they speak of being single a time to enjoy.. a time outside of the life-long relationship that I search for. Frankly, if you are not committed to something, you are going down a dangerous road. Temptation strikes easily on those who's path is aimless. The way I see it, is that anyone you see or hear that says "Single and loving it" either has their mind on the right things, the relationship to come, or they're fooling around with who knows who.

In addition, the time with God has brought me back to the origin of my romantic tendencies. I feel young again, in a sense, back to the days when that love was simple, straightforward and innocent. It's as if that this time is not devoted to being single at all! I feel more like I am getting in touch with my partner as she relates to me. I suppose you could say the same for me and my relationship with God. I have fallen so in love and have been filled with so much joy. However, I don't credit this to "singleness" but that I am in a Holy relationship, allowing God to shape me to fit with my missing piece.

As per my personality, enjoying single time is a bit of a stupid thing. I feel most satisfied when someone takes satisfaction in drawing from me, and when the same is true the other way around. Being single opens the door to temptation which is not something that I enjoy dealing with. The only thing that has changed for these next 11 months is I am throwing these tendencies to the wind, offering up my "lover's mind" as a sacrifice. My only aim is to abide in God's will, and arrive closer to a milestone than I was when I started.

Train Of Thought: Not That You Care.... but what the heck.

So, I had some thoughts I wanted to write down that were too numerous for a micro-blog but too small for a full blown blog-blog.

1. I've decided to never stop pursuing.. er, maybe, hop.. no... well, I'll just put it this way. I've decided that there is no such thing as impossible to me anymore.. because I serve a very possible God... right? :P

2. New Pet Peeves

• Never ever ever EVER use more than one of the same punctuation mark to end a sentence. For example: "Where did u go??????" *gag*-----oh, and please use apostrophes in contractions. First grade English, my friends.
• If someone responds to something I say with "ok?" they instantly lose all credibility for anything they say for the rest of the day.
• Stop being so picky. You only live once, you know, so let Him control everything so you don't have to.
• I don't care what it's about.. but stop whining. No more whining! (I expect this of myself as well.)

3. I'm happy now, you know? Bear with me if something seems off, mk?

The Bass

God Created The Bass: In the beginning there was a bass. It was a Fender, probably a Precision, but it could have been a Jazz--nobody knows. Anyway, it was very old ...definitely pre-C.B.S.

And God looked down upon it and saw that it was good. He saw that it was very good in fact, and couldn't be improved on at all (though men would later try.) And so He let it be and He created a man to play the bass.

And lo the man looked upon the bass, which was a beautiful "sunburst" red, and he loved it. He played upon the open E string and the note rang through the earth and reverberated throughout the firmaments (thus reverb came to be.)

And it was good. And God heard that it was good and He smiled at his handiwork. Then in the course of time, the man came to slap upon the bass. And lo it was funky. And God heard this funkiness and He said, "Go man, go." And it was good.

And more time passed, and, having little else to do, the man came to practice upon the bass. And lo, the man came to have upon him a great set of chops. And he did play faster and faster until the notes rippled like a breeze through the heavens. And God heard this sound which sounded something like the wind, which He had created earlier. It also sounded something like the movement of furniture, which He hadn't even created yet, and He was not so pleased. And He spoke to the man, saying "Don't do that!"

Now the man heard the voice of God, but he was so excited about his new ability that he slapped upon the bass a blizzard of funky notes. And the heavens shook with the sound, and the Angels ran about in confusion. (Some of the Angels started to dance, but that's another story.) And God heard this--how could He miss it? And lo He became Bugged. And He spoke to the man, and He said, "Listen man, if I wanted Jimi Hendrix I would have created the guitar. Stick to the bass parts."

And the man heard the voice of God, and he knew not to mess with it. But now he had upon him a passion for playing fast and high. The man took the frets off of the bass which God had created. And the man did slide his fingers upon the fretless fingerboard and play melodies high upon the neck. And, in his excitement, the man did forget the commandment of the Lord, and he played a frenzy of high melodies and blindingly fast licks. And the heavens rocked with the assault and the earth shook, rattled and rolled.

Now God's wrath was great. And His voice was thunder as He spoke to the man. And He said, "O.K. for you, pal. You have not heeded My word. Lo, I shall create a soprano saxophone and it shall play higher than you can even think of. And from out of the chaos I shall bring forth the drums. And they shall play so many notes thine head shall ache, and I shall make you to always stand next to the drummer. "You think you're loud? I shall create a stack of Marshall guitar amps to make thine ears bleed. And I shall send down upon the earth other instruments, and lo, they shall all be able to play higher and faster than the bass.

"And for all the days of man, your curse shall be this; that all the other musicians shall look to you, the bass player, for the low notes. And if you play too high or fast all the other musicians shall say, 'Wow,' but really they shall hate it. And they shall tell you you're ready for your solo career, and find other bass players for their bands. And for all your days if you want to play your fancy licks you shall have to sneak them in like a thief in the night. And if you finally do get to play a solo, everyone shall leave the bandstand and go to the bar for a drink." And it was so.