O to be a Recluse

O to be a recluse
A sharp mind in the shadows
A grace unseen by all
Tangled in thick solitude.

O to be so careless
Not a care for him
Or from others like him
But no tears or pains will come.

O to be a blind man
A mind's eye pristine
Never to be touched by evil
Never revealing the wonders.

O to be one alive
Eyes and ears open to all
Laden with worldly wonders
There's hardly a lonely moment.

O to be a loved one
On four feet, not two
The lonely legs weaken
And still walk alone.

O to be a severed limb
From the body I once belonged
That one's useless, imperfect
Cut it off from the rest.

O to be a recluse
A sharp mind, gone to waste
A grace forsaken by one
Caught in death itself.

Los Dos Amores de Mi Vida

Lover Number One, I can't say for sure
That you ever really knew who you were to me
But lo was I surely smitten by you,
Your Brown eyes in a golden sea of hair
We grew together, at least I did, living
Amongst each other's kin nearly daily
We knew not much more than the home
Where I tried to twist our souls to one.
This is the one, I told God with a fire
Burning me inside out, as you dwindled.
I was blinded by my very own wildfire
All the while you kindled elsewhere,
Safely out of sight, you grew with him.
My heart beat with anticipation when I
Opened that vocal envelope that would bring
A year of heartache and loneliness.
"God, WHY?" I shouted silently, staining
Everything my eyes drew near to, weeping
Like the child I was to believe in you then.
You taught me love, hate, pain and angst
On that car ride in the countryside, I won't
Forget that day at the beach when I thought
Just maybe God was wrong and I was right.

A poor steward of souls I became, until I found
You, my second and last love. Almost unwillingly
You accepted my heart in the bleeding basket that
Would slowly stain everything over time.
Neither of us hell-bound, we forged onward
Into A reality largely unknown to us both
Naive as you were, Perverted as I was, we trekked
Into grounds where soiled feet should never lay flat.
This is the one, I told God with a certainty unseen.
Overjoyed I kissed you daily that blissful summer
When I smiled and wished to fight for you against
Those I thought would steal you away.
"Speak my language!" you chanted and listened I did
To no avail for you simply did not understand me
No you did not understand that I am a lover,
Good for nothing else but Music.

I wander forward with a white cloth blinding
And a red cloth binding my hands to my head
Submitted I creep to a future dangerous and
Divine, crafted by the only one that knows
Just where I am supposed to go. Though He
Loves to be vague and surprise, the mistakes will
Come and I must move forward unwavering
Trusting in Love and his unfailing Grace Alone.